I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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