is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
