I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize