im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
