I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
