just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize