having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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