i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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