Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
