We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
