don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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