So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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