He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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