i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
