I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
