What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
