dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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