Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I skipped work to stalk him.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
