Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
