I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
