please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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