I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
