I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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