U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
