I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
