Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My hand turned me down
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
farters have to be the big spoon...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
