Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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