If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize