It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
