The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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