Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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