my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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