Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
