how can u be prego again
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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