So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
