i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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