He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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