How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
