He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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