the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
