awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize