I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
