I wanna bring you to show and tell
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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