Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
