maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
