I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
