i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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