He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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