dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
