Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
