If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
