to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
