It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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