You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
