She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
