If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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