My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
