On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
