My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
