I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
