you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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