Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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