She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
