A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
