barbara walters just said penis...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
this hospital has no fireball
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
