I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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