i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
