do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize