I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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