You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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