and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
