WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
