wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
