We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
