question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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